Self-Coaching for Creativity: An Example From My Life

Last week, I woke up late one morning after staying up too late the night before for no reason. I felt a crippling feeling of not wanting to get up and do anything. I had managed my time, so I could spend the day being creative. Instead of allowing this feeling to overtake me and ruin my day, I decided to do a self-coaching session. If you are humble, open-minded, and self-aware, self-coaching can be helpful. Most people, including me sometimes, need a coach to help them through the process. This time, I was able to uncover insights through using my own lens.

The first question I asked was simple but very effective.

What will get me motivated?

I started with some unconditional positive regard and noted my strengths: I am a multi-talented woman with many skills and undeveloped gifts. I could be a piano player, flutist, drummer, watercolor artist, singer, songwriter, author, keynote speaker, actress, dancer, photographer, etc. These are some of the creative outlets I am interested in and could choose to nurture. I have explored some of these pursuits and have been encouraged by others who believe I have the potential to excel if I dedicate the time and effort to develop my abilities. Growing up, I didn’t have the opportunity to join band, which meant missing out on discovering which instrument truly resonates with me. Now, I want to try them all! I determined that my lack of motivation lies in my tendency to be non-committal and unwilling to choose.

What is making me non-committal?

I don't know.

That’s alright. What sensations in my body arise when I try to make a choice?

I feel some gentle yet uneasy throbbing in my belly. The words that came to mind first were judgment followed by shame. The location of the sensations and the words that came to me make sense given my life experiences. Shame is predominantly stored in the sacral chakra.

When did I first feel these sensations in my body?

My first reaction was when I was in 5th grade and wanted to be a cheerleader, but the kids at school made fun of me for being overweight. I thought I was too fat to be a cheerleader and worried about how embarrassed I would be in the little dress I would have to wear.

My mind then went to high school when I wanted to be in a play, but was too shy and afraid of what my friends would think. And then when I had the inclination to act in college, I did not feel qualified since most college drama participants spent their high school years in drama club – or at least that was my assumption.

Next, I decided to go back and see if I can rescue little creative Crystal by getting to the root of the shame.

A Quick Visualization

I took a moment to go into my psyche and meet fifth-grade Crystal in the elementary school cafeteria where the memory sticks out the most. We went in the hallway where we could be alone. I told her she didn’t deserve to be teased, and it wasn’t her fault. The kids were cruel and had no idea what she was already going through at the time at home. Among other adult-sized problems she had to face, she was being relentlessly teased and taunted at both school and at home.

Then, the most impactful thing came to me. Something inside me told me to tell her I forgive her. What an insight! I had no idea I was harboring resentment toward my fifth-grade self for not trying out for cheerleading. I somehow blamed her for the difficulties I had to overcome to express my creativity today.

When I followed this intuition and told her I forgave her, she cried and cried. I held her and told her it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t ok and most importantly, it wasn’t her fault. I told her people of all shapes and sizes can be singers and dancers. It doesn’t require a specific look and any preconceived notions of how they are supposed to look is false and a bold-faced lie.

I embraced her and she started to feel better.

Practice

I then practiced ho’oponopono in the mirror and let the tears fall. This is a prayer that is very simple. You look yourself in the eyes and say, "I'm sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Thank you." until you start to feel better.

Movement

Later that evening, I moved the energy from my body with ecstatic dance where my intention was embodying my creativity through dance and the photography art I displayed on the big screen during the dance. Fifth-grade Crystal came to me during the sound healing portion at the end and showed me the little cheer she made up. What a joyful moment for us! I scooped her up in my arms and squeezed her tight. I gave her big old kisses on her cheeks. She is a total sweetheart and so goofy! Sweet and silly, my kind of girl.

I am so grateful for the wisdom I’ve gained through my mentors, friends, and the many years I have spent doing the work on my own experiential healing journey, as well as the knowledge I’ve earned with my active participation in various forms of therapy, my coaching certification, my yoga teacher training, my daily practices, my ayurvedic wellness counseling certification, my plant medicine journeys, and so much more.

While good coaches do not necessarily need to have vast life experience if they know how to hold space and guide people to find their own answers within, it certainly helps. And let me tell you, I have been through it all.

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